See? Beautiful handwriting! I’m not sure why my office was BCC’d on this email, or what this person is trying to accomplish, but at least she has good penmanship.

Today in Weird Emails:

  • A scan of a letter mailed to Miley Cyrus care of David de Rothschild, with Queen Elizabeth and Pope Francis cc’d in the heading.
“Jesus was a radical, non-violent revolutionary who hung around with lepers, hookers and crooks; wasn’t American and never spoke English; was anti-wealth, anti-death penalty, anti-public prayer (M 6:5), but was never anti-gay; never mentioned abortion or birth control; never called the poor ‘lazy’; never justified torture; never fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes; never asked a leper for a co-pay; and was a long-haired, brown-skinned, homeless, community-organizing, anti-slut-shaming, Middle Eastern Jew.”

You see Spongebob,  It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.


You see Spongebob,
It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.

(via itsvondell)


Anonymous asked:

Hi Hank! I've seen/heard you knock lawyers a few times. I'm curious about why you feel that way. Did you know there are lawyers who are also nerdfighters? Haven't you ever needed legal help? Why is what you do valuable and what lawyers do is not? I'm not trying to be hostile, I'm genuinely curious. As a nerdfighting lawyer I know the legal system is screwed up, but I haven't lost hope that I can do something worthwhile in it.



I knock lawyers for the same reason everyone else does…you have a profession that is opaque and terrifying and expensive, and when I have to interface with it…the lawyer is the face of that opaque and terrifying and expensive thing. 

But, I recognize that you have a vital job without which the world would fall apart….one that you probably won’t get a lot of love for doing…so thanks for doing it. We need good people in your profession very badly.

This applies to a lot of professions. I’m a bureaucrat, which is just a four letter word for “public servant” (where did I hear that the other day?), and, like — I get that as the part of bureaucracy you interact with, your anger isn’t directed at me, I’m just getting it as it passes by. And I’ve dealt with bureaucrats, too, have spent hours on the phone with the IRS, with the State Department, whatever — but whenever I get frustrated I remind myself the person at the other end of the line really does just want to help, and doesn’t get much love or remuneration for it, because neither do I.

So hats off to the lawyers, the bureaucrats, the people who work in fields without a lot of love but who are doing it for sincere and good reasons.



And Judas told the priests and the Pharisees, “The man who I kiss on the cheek is the one you seek.”To which they replied, “Gay.”



And Judas told the priests and the Pharisees, “The man who I kiss on the cheek is the one you seek.”
To which they replied, “Gay.”

"I don’t think that’s the expression."

"I don’t think that’s the expression."

"I don’t think that’s the expression."

I’ve lost thirty pounds over the last seven months. I didn’t even think it was a lot — I mean, I knew the number, in my head, but hadn’t thought of it much — until I put on a pair of pants that used to be tight around the waist, pulled them out as far as they’d go, and saw how much space there was and how much had disappeared from my frame.

I was looking at pictures of me from a year ago, where my face is round and I look dreadfully unhappy. (I mean, a year ago I was just starting to have daily panic attacks, so I wasn’t in a good place then, but that’s besides the point.) A year ago I was aware I had gained weight since college, a lot of weight — I was 170 at the start of my senior year, and I was 210 when I started running and working out — but I didn’t do anything about it. I mean, besides sit and be miserable.

I’m not working out because I want to get some Adonis-esque (Adonesque?) body with eight-pack abs and biceps the size of small watermelons. I’m doing it because everyone on one side of my family keeps dying of heart disease, and it seems like a good idea to try and put a stop to that now rather than waiting until my forties. But the other side effects of working out — getting slimmer, slowly but surely developing muscles in places they never were before — are a nice bonus prize.

I bought a new pair of jeans today. I’ve dropped two inches off my waistline since September. Working out sucks — it sucks so much, it is awful and I can think of roughly three million things I would rather do than spend time at the gym — but it’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve made in the last few years.


Charlotte’s Web,by E.B. White. 1952.

Order the Shit Rough Drafts book here!

(via blujayonthewing)


Chilling testimony of death row executioners cast shadow over entire system.

Execution teams describe what it feels like to administer the death penalty: knee bucklingly crushingly bad, it seems.

"The Chaplain said, ‘I usually put my hand on their leg right below their knee, you know, and I usually give ‘em a squeeze, let ‘em know I’m right there. You can feel the trembling, the fear that’s there, the anxiety that’s there. You can feel the heart surging, you know. You can see it pounding through their shirt.’

The warden asks the condemned man if he has any last words he’d like to say… some inmates decline to speak, some sing, some pray. Some apologize. Some will declare, for one last time, that an innocent man is being killed. 

The Chaplain said, ‘I’ve had several of them where [I’m] watching their last breath go from their bodies and their eyes never unfix from mine. I mean actually lock together. And I can close my eyes now and see those eyes. My feelings and my emotions are extremely intense at that time. I’ve never … I’ve never really been able to describe it. And I guess in a way I’m kind of afraid to describe it. I’ve never really delved into that part of my feelings yet.’

One warden said, ‘You’ll never hear another sound like a mother wailing when she is watching her son be executed. There’s no other sound like it. It is just this horrendous wail. It’s definitely something you won’t ever forget.’”

Read the article at PolicyMic.

The only two things in my politics I flat-out refuse to compromise on are my stances on gun control and the death penalty.

(via extraordinarilyoptimistic)