You can only lie next to someone while they sleep and watch their eyelids flutter and their chest slowly rise and fall so many times before your heart has something to say about it.
This is why you should do what I do: say “Goodnight!” loudly, roll over to face the other way, no cuddling. Problem solved.
- YA novel: *has supernatural elements*
- critics: THE NEXT HARRY POTTER
- YA novel: *has love triangle*
- critics: THE NEXT TWILIGHT
- YA novel: *is a dystopian novel*
- critics: THE NEXT HUNGER GAMES
- critics: YA NOVELS CAN NEVER BE ORIGINAL
- critics: THEY'RE ALWAYS JUST LIKE PREVIOUS YA NOVELS
- critics: ALL OF THEM
“The US budget is like a 1st grader playing Oregon Trail. Spend all the money on ammunition so you can shoot at stuff, then wonder why your wagon is falling apart and everyone is dying of dysentery.”
- Me: Oh look.
- Me: There's an Ebola outbreak in West Africa! That sounds horrible! I hope they're able to do something about that.
- Me: ...
- Me: I wonder when I'll die of Ebola.